When we were back over London, we continued to fly in a holding pattern for another hour because there was still too much fuel to land. I was hoping that they'd dump the large, loud-snoring, weird guy in front of us. But no. I guess that is against their policy.
We landed. And one hour after that we were on another plane. Then we were stuck on the tarmac for another few hours while several other things went wrong -- the new pilots were stuck in traffic, the wrong paper forms were signed, and so forth and so on. Seventeen hours later we landed in Minneapolis, tired and ready to crash in the pee-smelly hotel the airline comped for us. By that time, my body had had it. My edema was so bad that my feet had swollen to the size of shoe boxes and my cankles looked like Jon Favreau's neck.
|Jon Favreau's neck|
Can you see the resemblance?
The next morning we went back to the airport and got on a non-cursed flight back home.
And here I am now complaining after watching a tear-punching segment on CNN of the aftermath of the Midwest tornadoes.
Look. I know that my life isn't hard. The very fact that I thought that this plane ride was grueling actually proves that my life isn't hard. But this trip cost mucho poundso. Delta is a service industry. If I am at a restaurant and get a steak that moos or is as hard as a hockey puck, I send it back to the kitchen. On the Delta website I submitted a complaint, detailing the indignities and inconveniences in an overly-written manner. 'I am expecting the Hyperbole Police to show up at my door any minute.
An experience like this makes me wonder if the airlines are more of a federalized operation than a service industry. Oh crap! I am thinking scary libertarian/republican thoughts! I am going to stop now before my sad liberal brain explodes.
I promise that the next blog post I write won't be a huge litany of complaints. (Maybe. There will definitely be a few complaints.) I will tell you all about my trip to Europe. Especially London. London was amazing. I won't be complaining (or whinging, as they say in England) about that part of the trip. The skies were always overcast! There were people speaking in British accents everywhere! And the food and theatre were brilliant. Brilliant I say!
(A special thank you to my facebook friend Paul, for coining the word 'favrankles.')