Friday, September 30, 2011

Friends of Floozy! Genial Stalker Edition!

Today is Friday. Although it feels decidedly Wednesdayish. This week has been crazybuzy -- full of family emergencies that have delayed my Sorta Grand Reopening of Etsy. It was supposed to happen this morning, but it will be more like this evening. That is if nothing else goes wrong. (I just jinxed my internet.)

But I did get my movie quote finished! This week's quote comes from Eric D. Snider. He is my favorite movie reviewer because his reviews are trustworthy, hilarious, and well-written. I politely emailed him (carefully censoring out any 'scary' stalker fangirl phrases like, 'your favorite pajamas' and 'binoculars') asking him for his favorite movie quote. Well, here it is!

Little known fact: Whore Island neighbors the Floozy Atoll.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Good for all occasions!

I really need to get crackin' making BACK OFF eye masks. The ones that I have made have been especially appreciated on airplanes and in hospitals. My sweetie Portuguese friend, Maria, wore hers in the hospital for her baby's birth. Doesn't she look smashing? 
My store is opening in a few days, and I will try and get a few masks online. Also, let me know if you want a custom one that says something a little bit more threatening. I will give you the nerdtacular Battlestar phrase, Frak Off, for example. Or you know. The other f-word. With or without an asterisks.

Monday, September 26, 2011

All I lack is my own jingle

Floozy Floozy Floozy Finds!

Please tell me you sang that as a jingle. Out loud. In front of your persnickety boss.

It's Monday! Which means I overuse exclamation points! and I tell you all about car stickers on Floozy Finds. That's hard-hitting journalism at its finest, folks.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

My Ho'cruxes

You know how in Harry Potter? Voldemort breaks up his soul into several pieces like stale taffy and hides them around the countryside of England? These pieces of his soul are called horcruxes. Well, I feel like I have my own version of horcruxes. Sure, they aren't in England (except for David Tennant), and yeah, they aren't exactly evil. But they are a part of me. And I am just starting to find them. I don't call them horcruxes though. Because they are people! People whom I have found through the internet. They seem like little pieces of me! I call them my 'Ho'cruxes.' In the last few months I have found many awesome ladies who somehow share such similar tastes in humor, life outlook, and interests, that I can truly call them my special ho's.  
  One of them is Evelyn.
I made this for her You Big Mary store! When is your store going to open, Evelyn? HINT, HINT.
Another artistic woman that I just met is Sarah. I bought something very cool from her store. I will show you a picture of it when it gets here!
And then there is Johi. She is a very important ho' of mine. I'm not sure where we met on the interwebz. I think it was a dooce forum. She is the funniest blogger ever! You should read her every day right before you brush your teeth in the morning, when your breath is especially fuzzy and rancid. I know she would appreciate that image.
Yesterday, my very beautiful, talented, and hilarious ho', Johi wrote this awesome blog post about gift-giving. She wrote an inspirational story about her gay friend who received a handstitched 'Manicorn' sampler made by moi. 
Johi! You is a very special ho'crux to me! My ETSY STORE store is having a grand re-opening SEPTEMBER 30TH FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY! In honor of Confessions of a Cornfed Girl and all of my other ridiculously amazing ho'cruxes out there (are you one?) the coupon code "CORNFEDGIRL" will grab you an extra 15% off!
As Johi would say,
Peace, Love, and Manicorns!

Friday, September 23, 2011

It rubs the movie quote on its skin...

or else it gets the hose again. I made another Silence O' Lambs quote, but this time it is longer and slightly more threatening. I'm still taking quotes from friends, and here's a hint: they are much more likely to be stitched if they are short because everything with me is very last minute. I am the Ultimate Procrastinating Champion. Fear me. Or not. It's up to you. I don't want to seem too pushy.

Having a good skin regimen is a must!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Talent! it's a cancer mutation gene! Maybe!

Remember these cute pink ribbons? (I actually was unable to make enough to hand out at the art fair, so I handed out the FLOOZY SAYS RELAX buttons instead.) With the grand reopening of my Etsy store (should be in the next week or so) I will give one for free with every purchase or to anyone who is willing to pay a buck for shipping. 
This is my adorable mom:
She has breast cancer. It is yucky yuck yuck!
When she goes into the hospital for chemo or boosters or whatever they are intravenously injecting her with (awesomeness?) -- this is how she kills time:
She stitches!
These will later be cut into squares and made into pillows for Christmas gift-giving. Lots and lots of little snowmen that say 'hope.' Raise your hand if your heart is a little melty right now.
Me and my cute mom, rawking the headscarves. 
My mom has a full collection: all from this wonderful store. If you or someone you know needs a good chemo scarf, I recommend these. Also, email me if you or someone you know has cancer or is a survivor and I will mail you a crochet pink ribbon pro bono (fancy word for FREE.) 
Have a fabooblous Thursday! No, that insertion of the word 'boob' into the word 'fabulous' did not work! Oh well!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Who Says Relax?

Diet Floozy says RELAX.
Does this ribcage make me look fat?

Who says Reeelax?

Granger says relax!

Who says RELAX?!

Dobby the Handknit Housemonster says relax.

Good job, Dobby! That lotus position makes you look very relaxed.

Okay now, maybe that is too relaxed.

Thanks to Dame Toadstool for knitting Dobby and Sydney Hunt for my rad FLOOZY SAYS RELAX buttons!

Monday, September 19, 2011


Hopefully you read that blog title post with a screamy slightly-unhinged, biebery-fevery lady voice. Because OH. MAH. HAYECK. I am now doing a special Monday feature over on Happy Valley Crafters.  I spoke about this awhile ago, right? Before The Craptacular Summer of '11. Do you at all remember me mentioning this? Nod your heads. Good. Do what Floozy says. That's right. Now reach into your left pocket . . . .


Without further ado (about something) here it is! The link to "Floozy Finds." You will not be disappointed. (Have I built it up too much?) Okay, maybe you will be a little disappointed. But it's Monday, so my chances are pretty dang good.


Friday, September 16, 2011

Movie, Quote!

Still doing the Friends of Floozy Movie Quote Friday Dealio. Today I am featuring a quote suggested by my online gal pal, EvelynDo you know the movie?
Aziz, light!
Here is another hint:

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Book Cover Collages. Is Art!

I am starting to make book cover collages again. They are pretty damn rad. Some with bodice-rippers, others with overly-sexualized sci-fi. I know! The awesomeness of that last sentence! Here are two artistic collages available at Signed and NumberedI am making more, soon to be available on my Etsy site that will be given the Kiss of Life sometime this weekend. I am also making some more Bathroom Birdies since those sell like hotcakes, or should I say poopcakes?! OR should I say poop-pies? OOORRR should I say poopcowpies? Which really don't sell very quickly at all, I bet, so please ignore that last bit.

Here is the first collage -- The Steamy Bodice-Rippers!
Don't you just hate it when your top falls off in the water and there is only a hunky fisherman to pull you to shore? I know I do!

Here is the weird sci-fi collage. I wish I knew what that lower left book cover was! Because, dude . . . .
Best. Cover. Art. Ever.

And maybe you are old like me and can't read the blurb on the top middle one, so here is a close-up:

 It is the time
of the conjunction
of the Million Spheres
and all things
are possible.

Take a moment out of your day and ponder that.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Friends of Floozy! MQF! Late night! You can read this the same time you watch Craig Ferguson.

I like to vulcan mind meld with some of my friends to find good movie quotes. And plus, the afterglow is fantastic. My uber-rad friend, Steph, whom I have known since high school suggested the quote from 12 monkeys "I am mentally divergent, in that I am escaping certain unnamed realities that plague my life" I was super captivated by its awesomeness. Also, I love that movie. (As does the Flooze Dude.)
   Instead of doing my stitching on normalish fabric, I chose to stitch the quote on this finished gem I found at the local thrift store for TWO! DOLLARS!! Someone put a lot of love into this googly-eyed Twee Chicken in Bonnet and I wanted to give it the proper respect it deserved. No, I did not use the quote exactly, but I used enough of it so that it counts. It counts! In my world. In my sad sad world.

I am not crazy. I am "mentally divergent."
Keep suggesting movie quotes for me! My brain is shriveled and pruny and needs intensive moisturizing cream. Your moisturizing cream.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Friends of Floozy! Movie Quote Friday!

The lovely Capree suggested a movie quote from the notorious movie, The Room. You must watch this movie! It is so so bad, that it is so so good. Somehow Mr. Floozy and I watched this late one night on Adult Swim. It wasn't edited exactly. The original movie obviously had Xtreme Boobage, but the version we watched had a thumb smear over any hint of nudity. This somehow made the movie that much more salacious. Here is the famous line I stitched:

And here it is stitched.

you're tearing me apart, Lisa!