THE MANATEE AGENDA

UPDATE: So maybe the manatees, didn't do so great in the Craftster challenge. But Beefranck liked them enough to feature them on Stitchgasm on Mr. X Stitch.


I just finished this embroidery sampler today and will soon be entering it into the next Craftster challenge: Inspired by Nature. 

Perhaps you have not yet been warned about the sinister MANATEE AGENDA?

I started creating the idea for this piece after reading this mofo-ing hilarious article: Tea Party Hates Manatees. See how I even used that same picture as inspiration? Aww, Manatees. Who would have guessed that such adorable creatures could be so evil?
The Manatee Agenda sampler will be for sell later this week at the Signed & Numbered Boutique in SLC. Maybe I will make more for my Etsy store (once I resurrect it) if there is any interest. Is there any interest? Until then, here is one more close up:

Pssst, kid. Interested in some environmental literature?

MOVIE quote FRIDAY! 'Friends of Floozy' Edition!

 My hilarious friend, Holly, has her own title here at Floozy HQ. She is the 'Floozy Musey.' Many of my embroidery designs are inspired by the funny things she says. I steal her jokes yes! 
  She suggested that I use a quote from the movie 'Paul' starring the kickass duo of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. And because it is a movie with special effects, I added my own -- GLOW-IN-THE-DARK-OMG thread. 

it's not fat, it's POWER.

 Truer words. Okay, so taking a picture of GLOW-IN-THE-DARK-OMG thread is exceptionally difficult. There was much trial and error and swearage. This is the best I could do. (And yes, the only word special-effectualized is 'POWER.')

It is blurry here but mighty impressive in real life.

 Since it was so much fun not harvesting quotes from my husband, I have decided to invite my readers and friends and non-existent coworkers to suggest movie quotes for the next few Fridays. Go ahead. Dazzle me with your movie quotes. It might just end up being stitched.

The Anti-Socialites

The Anti-Socialites
'I cannot stay late, dahling.' 'Neither can I, dahling.' 'I need to nap for several hours for no apparent reason.'

TO BUY: foie gras, butler, laudanum

Remember the good ol' days when you could go to your local store and buy laudanum?

Mr. Floozy's Movie Quote Friday!

A few days ago, Mr. Floozy ruptured his achilles tendon. And by ruptured, I mean severed. Like, one half was over here and the other half over there. Thankfully, Dr. Bacon (I swear that is his name) sewed him back together. But now Mr. Floozy is in a cast for weeks, months, decades! Poor Mr. Floozy will never fulfill his lifetime dream of becoming a flamboyantly gay Olympic figure skater. 
So now that my husband has a gimp leg, I am reminded of this quote:

You had better not try and steal my candy bar, Mr. Floozy, or I am taking you down!

This just in! Creepy Doll Union Strikes

Not to worry. The understudy -- Pink Balloon Head was ready to replace Creepy Doll in the role of naive ingenue. She had her lines completely memorized. Here are excerpts from my pulitzer-hopeful play.

act one, scene one

*Pink Balloon Head stares thoughtfully into the middle distance.

*

I'm going to skip about five hours of dialogue and get to the grand finale, starring the villain -- Evil Crochet Flower

act seven, scene thirty five

Evil Crochet Flower: If I prick you do you not pop?!

but cute hat, right? I will be selling them!

BACK OFF! the return of the sleeping masks!

Remember the BACK OFF sleeping masks? I have made more! They have been seriously re-fabulized. I didn't embroider onto a purchased sleeping mask this time, but created my own. I made a simple pattern and behold:

I didn't use a sewing machine though. These are completely hand-stitched. I feel rather ambivalent about sewing machines. Maybe from all those years of taking sewing lessons and being a complete failure at it. When I was fifteen, I followed a pattern for shortalls faithfully. Oh, what are shortalls?

The belt adds a nice touch!

The ones I finished were pretty cute, but I couldn't figure out why the front was so much longer than the back. Yeeaaah, I must not have looked closely enough at the pattern, because the shortalls were maternity shortalls. Oops. Did I mention that I was fifteen years old? (Mom, I have something to tell you . . . .) I think that this is proof for the tea-party folks that domesticity leads to sin. 
Back to the sleep masks!

For sale only at Craft Lake City!

UPDATE: My friend found this exclusive photo:

Roseanne was so ahead of her time.

Movie Quote Friday! Three for the Price of One!

Mr. Floozy is out of town so I turned to twitter and facebook for suggestions for short movie quotes. I stitched the first three short quotes quickly and then I went to an old-folks buffet with my kids. After that, shoe-shopping. I also tapped on the window of a couple of teenagers making-out in their car. It was fun! I really wanted to stop and give the boy some tips, since his head was rotating on his neck like a hypersonic ferris wheel. But I didn't!

Can you guess the quotes?

 

Crochet Breast Cancer Ribbons as modeled by Creepy Doll and Doll Head Minions

You know what I hate? Breast Cancer. I realize that this sets me apart from everyone else. That is why I am a huge trend-setter with this idea I had of making everyone aware of breast cancer with the aid of wearing pink ribbons. Totally a revolutionary idea! If you come to Craft Lake City (which you will, because you love me) you can have a Floozy Pink Ribbon. For free! Okay, not for free exactly, but with the purchase of anything from my booth. What's with the sudden interest in breast cancer awareness? Well, my mom has it. And I freakishly adore her. And something about this cancer pisses (sorry about the near-swear, Mom) me off.
Here is the cute pink little bugger:

Pin me on your boobie, moobie, or prosthetic such.

While supplies last!

I have a cute pin!

Creepy Doll also hates breast cancer.

The color pink brings out the creepiness of my eyes.

Okay! Maybe you want to stop reading this post here.