I have self-diagnosed myself with Reverse SAD. It's basically seasonal affected disorder, but instead of getting all stabby in the winter due to lack of sunlight, people with the summer blues get stabby during the gawdawful summer months of heat and outdoor water parks and despair. Here is a really good article about THIS VERY REAL MENTAL ILLNESS SO DO NOT MOCK ME OR I SHALL STAB THEE WITH MY FLABBY ELBOW.
Which is why I made another one of 'Gentle Warning to My Children' Samplers.
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| if you wake me up, i will wrap you in deli meats and throw you into a tank of horny man-eating porcupines. |
I am super unloveable in the summer. But this giant candy bar my husband brought home from England has made me slightly more lovable. I put a crayon next to it to show scale.
The best thing about this chocolate? Is that all of the nutrition values are in British Poppycock, so I have no idea what they actually are, which means of course that they are 0 Calories, 0 fat grams, and 0 carbs.
We need to get together soon and be equally unlovable together! Preferably in a dark movie theater with a large pitcher of beer and a huge plate of nachos, guacamole on the side, of course!
ReplyDeletethat sounds great! I really want to see moonrise kingdom!
DeleteOh, and if there are any left, I will try and steal a couple of my husband's Lortab's. To hell with his needs, he doesn't understand what we are going through!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, but I can't help laughing at the teeny tiny crayon. It's so...tiny! ME
ReplyDeleteYou are right. it's not that candy bar that is big, but the crayon that is small.
DeleteI hate hate hate HATE summer. Every day over 80 makes me want to eviscerate someone with a British chocolate bar.
ReplyDeleteThis whole chocolate and hatred of summer combo, has become my new test for if it is too hot outside-- as in, if the outdoors can melt chocolate = TOO HOT.
DeleteSummer here in SE AZ is more bearable. It's about the same temp as UT, but we get wicked cool thunderstorms several times a week. So it definitely takes the edge off the bright cheery (or maybe just devastating, parching) sun.
ReplyDeleteRick. Listen to yourself. You live in ARIZONA. No way can that not be an awful place for summer.
DeleteI found this blog because I just did a search for 'reverse SAD' in an attempt to find others to commiserate with. I've had it for years so I'm right there with you! I get completely lethargic in summer with the endless, searing sunshine. I don't mind the heat so much because I like being outside but, man, I'd really like to punch the sun in its glaring, taunting face. Cloudy days = energy and marked mood improvement.
ReplyDeleteyay! I'm so glad you found my blog and that hate summer, too! I really think I need to do needlepoint of someone punching the sun in the face.
Deleteeveryone knows that calories purchased in another country don't count. Also Dairy Milk is the best chocolate EVER.
ReplyDeleteExactly! Different country = no calories. That is like, Science.
DeleteI plan on eating a shit ton of chocolate later today while sputtering out "Poppycock! Poppycock! Poppycock!". It should be exciting for everyone involved.
ReplyDeleteThat is what they call Speaking in Tongues. ok, now I really want to go to one of those church services and start shouting Poppycock! Poppycock!
DeleteThe light is cutting though me like a knife!
ReplyDeleteMarie, I love you! You will make it through this, I know you will.
Loves, your summer/sun loving super tan buddy.
Jodie
You, with your tanness! And your ageless skin!
DeleteThat chocolate bar is GLORIOUS.
ReplyDeleteFloozy, I've wandered all over your page, and can't find a button to click to follow your blog. Is there one somewhere? Am I just being lame?
you are not lame! I used to have a follow button, but I don't anymore. I would tell you why, but it's a long circuitous story that ends with contrariness and dry flavorless pulled pork.
DeleteIf you still want to "follow" me, there is Facebook, Twitter, or my neighbor's house. It's for sale.