Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Behold! The End o' Summer is Nigh!

My kids start school in less than a week! woooooooohoooooooooooo! I have gotten most of their back-to-school stuff finished except for a few things. I still need to buy my son an electric razor. SO HE CAN SHAVE. Please follow me around with a soft body pillow and smelling salts. 

Before school starts, Mr. Floozy and I start drilling them about being nice to other kids and to avoid slurs that will scar and stigmatize some kids for life. We tell our children that sure, they are special, but that they are also not special. If that makes sense. I hate little rich superior kids more than anything. Did I just say that hate some kids? Yes. Yes, I did. Some kids are total snots. There. I said it. To make sure that my kids don't become little snots, I remind them of this wonderful quote by Tyler Durden:

You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake.
What are some of the things you tell your kids before they go back to school? 


  1. "PLEASE don't say, 'i'm going to rape your face.'"

    I also have to continually remind my oldest not to say things to people that will make them question their spirituality and/or start a holy war. :(

    Also, that is probably my favorite Fight Club quote... along with "We're the all singing, all dancing crap of the world."

    1. Ha! This reminds me of hoe my SIL when she was little always quoted UHF in elementary school. I wonder what exactly she thought a 'lesbian nazi hooker' was?

    2. *how Typing with my thumbs on my iPad is not my forte.