Let’s talk politics! And then we’ll finish it off with religion and a heated discussion about grammar. (Some of my friends are over on the ‘right’ side of the spectrum and are self-described ‘Grammar Nazis’, whereas I am a ‘Grammar Hippie’ over on the left side. I’m always on the left side, be it grammar or politics or heck, even religion.)
And here’s the thing. I am okay with you being on the ‘right’ side. That is grrreat! Although, confessedly, I feel compelled to put the word ‘right’ in quotations marks. (Side note: I hate double quotation marks. They are so bulky and unnecessary. The single quotation mark is elegantly utilitarian. Have at me, Grammar Punctuationistas!)
Where was I? I got distracted by this weird, burned cereal flake in my bowl. Oh, right! POLITICS. I can hardly stand Facebook lately because everything is a political link trying to persuade the other side that they are better and have more delicious punch and cookies. This seems rather hopeless to me. Has anyone ever flipped political sides because of a Facebook post? Maybe, like thirty people in the whole history of the world? And those thirty people all slipped and cracked their heads on their keyboards at the same time.
It’s fine to be political. Correction: It's grrrreeat! to be political. I appreciate the intelligent people who give it their best to figuring it all out. I love that we can do that in our country. We are damned lucky to have Freedom of Speech. (Or as I like to call it, 'Freedom to Be Cool' or 'Freedom to Be an Asshole.')
You can tell me that I’m wrong with my politics, religion, and grammar, but don’t be an asshole about it. Even if you are right, being an asshole negates your whole point.
(I should mention that a lot of my friends are Grammar Fascists, and that they are pretty nice to me when I mess up. The one exception concerns my Utah Acsint [Accent] which is so gawdawful to them and supposedly makes their ears menstruate. Someday I will write a blog post about Utah accents and how I am pro-regionalism and anti-cultural-Borgism. I will try not to be an asshole about it.)
All of this fighting and scrabbling to be right reminds me of a scene from The Big Lebowski. You know the one. Where Walter and the Dude are getting in the car after a bowling match and they keep on arguing about whether or not it was wrong of Walter to bully Smokey into taking a zero for his turn. Walter asks repeatedly, ‘Am I wrong? Am I wrong?!’ Finally, the Dude answers, ‘You’re not wrong. You’re just an asshole.’
|So sayeth The Dude.|
Go ahead and post your awe-inspiring or cringey pictures of Ritt Momney and Obamarama. But don’t be offended if I hide you on Facebook. When it comes to politics, religion, and grammar, I stand by The Dude.