|So totally not Mom-Aprroved.|
A few weekends ago we went to Frightmares at Lagoon -- a local carny/amusement park that gets all Halloweened out in October. It was really fun except that I was relentlessly mocked and pressured because of my refusal to go near anything scary,which included roller-coasters, haunted houses, and the bathroom next to the Arby's. Every time I saw a ride that looked Mom-Approved, I said, 'Hey! Let's go on that nice, slow roller coaster!' And now I have the name of my Mom Band -- Slow Roller Coaster! Who's in?
Lagoon has about three or four Not-Mom-Approved haunted houses. Only Mr. Floozy and Boy Floozy were willing to go through them. Despite my love for scary, zombie-filled urban fantasy fiction, I refuse to go into a haunted house. Or rather, the only way that I would go on a haunted house is if this happened:
1. A Kiddie Wagon to be pulled by a trustworthy person who has been vetted by The International Nanny Association.
2. Pope-Mobile Glass to protect me.
3. Noise-cancelling headphones.
4. An adult diaper.
5. A large amount of personal space.
6. A handy blanket for comfort and to pull over my eyes as needed.
7. A belief in a Higher Power.
We are probably going to go to Frightmares again before this month is out. I plan on going on a few nice slow roller coasters and eating a funnel cake made by a monosyllabic teenager who has lofty culinary aspirations.
What are your Halloween plans? And do you go to haunted houses? And if so, why?! WHY?!?!