Tuesday, October 2, 2012

The Other 'F' Word

Let's talk about FATTY FATTY FATNESS.

But first, let's read this little snack of an article by Her Royal Awesomeness -- J. K. Rowling:

“Fat’ is usually the first insult a girl throws at another girl when she wants to hurt her.

I mean, is ‘fat’ really the worst thing a human being can be? Is ‘fat’ worse than ‘vindictive’, ‘jealous’, ‘shallow’, ‘vain’, ‘boring’ or ‘cruel’? Not to me; but then, you might retort, what do I know about the pressure to be skinny? I’m not in the business of being judged on my looks, what with being a writer and earning my living by using my brain…

I went to the British Book Awards that evening. After the award ceremony I bumped into a woman I hadn’t seen for nearly three years. The first thing she said to me? ‘You’ve lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you!’

‘Well,’ I said, slightly nonplussed, ‘the last time you saw me I’d just had a baby.’

What I felt like saying was, ‘I’ve produced my third child and my sixth novel since I last saw you. Aren’t either of those things more important, more interesting, than my size?’ But no – my waist looked smaller! Forget the kid and the book: finally, something to celebrate!

I’ve got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don’t want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I’d rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before ‘thin’. And frankly, I’d rather they didn’t give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons.”

 J.K. Rowling

A gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence! I LOVE YOU, J.K. ROWLING!! And I am going to read your book for 'grown-ups' and love it even if I don't love it, because I love you.

I have two daughters, and let me tell ya, they are already using the 'f' word. Recently, my youngest, who is nine, whispered to me that she was 'afraid of getting fat.' And I could have answered, 'You won't get fat if you eat healthy and exercise!' But I didn't say that. Instead I said, 'Well, you're a girl, which means it will be really hard for you to stay just one size. You probably will get fat at some point in your life and you probably will also be skinny sometimes, too. And sometimes, your weight will be right in the middle. But you will always always be beautiful.' 

It's tough to be a woman! In the near future there will be a video up on the Craft Lake City site of me dorking out in front of the camera about being the Cotton Floozy. And I just know that the one overpowering thought I will have is how fat I look. How lame of me to have that be my greatest fear! Which is probably why I won't let myself watch that video. Please don't let me watch that video. Body slam me to the floor if necessary. These last few years my hormones and my brain chemicals have run amok! (Isn't 'amok' the best word ever?) AND IT IS OKAY. It is okay that my weight has suffered consequently. It is okay that I have been all over the scale. Deep breath.

I am woman, hear me MOAR.

But there is one thing that will always be a constant. I am beautiful. Not because I am beautiful necessarily, but because I am beautiful. Trust me, that makes sense if you use the right inflections.  And more than anything I want my daughters to know that regardless of what life throws at them, be it celery sticks or Snickers bars, their beauty is a constant. 

Let them fly, flyyyyyyyyy high against the sky* because I am the glorious gassy chihuahua wind beneath their wings.

And as Nick Frost's character said in that movie, 'Paul,' that me** and about five other people saw: It's not fat, it's POWER.

It's not fat. It's POWER.

God bless everyone and Lady Gaga!

* to be sung in your best Bette Midler voice.

** yes, I know it's supposed to be 'I.' Shut it.


  1. Word.

    Also, I love watching all that is Nick Frost. Him and Simon Pegg are quite wonderful in "Spaced" as well.

  2. I LOVE you Cotton Floozy!! You are an inspiration! Seriously. I am not making that up so you will give me more free items.

    BTW, I HAVE seen Paul and I loved it and recorded it on my DVR so I can one day immerse myself in Ben and Jerry's ice cream, white chocolate Kit-Kats, Dill Pickle Pringles, movie theater buttered popcorn and numerous bottles of birch beer while I enjoy a Pegg/Frost movie marathon!

  3. Oh, and that delicious Hatch Family Chocolate divine creation of two rice krispy treats with marshmallow and caramel slathered in between and then dipped in milk chocolate!!

  4. The 'F' word isn't allowed in our house. And I don't mean Fuck ;-) I think you handled it well with Annie! You said it to her perfectly! I just tell me girls that they are beautiful every day. People come in different shapes, sizes and look different. And that's what makes this world awesome! I can't believe they were calling Lady Gaga fat! Seriously!?! This world is hopeless.

  5. Sigh. I could write a book on this subject! But i won't. I promise i'll keep it (fairly) brief here. Everything Ms. Rowling said.. right. on! And so well said, of course, because it's said by her. I have struggled with my weight for about 10 years now. Up and down. Down and up. I know i'm overweight.. okay, i'll say the word.. FAT. But not as fat as i was a year or two ago. I've lost 22 pounds, but still have a way to go. Some delicious things are just hard to give up. But anyway.. I saw an acquaintance i hadn't seen in awhile a couple of weeks ago.. First words she said to me.. i kid you not.. 'Wow, you're enormous!' (She is not, and will never be.. a friend!) I felt like saying.. you should have seen me last year you hideous b****! But i did not. And i think it was about six months ago that i was walking, (i try to walk 3-4 miles a day,) and a complete stranger walking on the other side of the street shouted over to me.. 'When are you due?' I laughed and said, I'm not pregnant, just fat. She was embarrassed, and she should have been. NO MANNERS. Who asks questions like that. Well, evidently she does. I'm sorry, this is turning out to be a book after all. Maybe i should do a post of my own about it? LOL. So i'll end here, but thanks so much for sharing this post. I love it. And i must share on my facebook page! Love your blog, btw. It's fabulous!

  6. I am glad you wrote such a moving, fabulous, long post! And can we codify a law against asking women if they are pregnant? I have been asked this twice in my life and I bawled each time. The first time, I was crazily thin (size 4, holy crap!), but was wearing an empire waist dress.

    I love you, New Friend Mary! And I am going to add your blog tomorrow to my Friends of Floozy page, if that is alright with you.

  7. Love this. And hope its for sale next time I see you because I AM BUYING IT. Dibbs.

    1. I always respect the authority of the dibbs. You got it.

  8. Love this! I want to be J.K. Rowling when I grow up. :) Thanks for sharing!