Friday, November 16, 2012

TOTAL LOSER

Am I the only one behind in pretty much everything? Laundry, embroidery, dishes, de-cluttering, eyebrow grooming, so many many things? Lately, I have been prefacing every almost-commitment with, 'When I get my shit together . . .' And no, I do not consider the sh-word a swear. Shit is a fact of life. You take the good. You take the bad. You take them both and there you have the facts of shit. (Sorry, Mrs. Garrett!) 

Will there ever be a day when I remember where I parked my car in the parking lot? Or when I will be able to open up one of those accursed plastic produce bags at the grocery store without going into carpal tunnel shock? Will I just once -- just once -- choose the fast line and not the slooooowest line at the grocery store? You know the line. The one where everybody is standing over a vent blowing carbon monoxide, slowly swaying to Muzak, right before the poor cashier is attacked by a woman who wants everything she bought double-checked because she was absolutely positive that the sign said, 'For you, madame, the price will be negative dollars!'

To cheer myself up, I made this:




At losing I am a TOTAL WINNER. 





6 comments:

  1. Ugh same here, I'm so busy lately I don't know if I found a rope or lost my horse

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  2. Crap. I'm supposed to groom my eyebrows?

    I was be talked at by a lady on the playground today. She had a beard. You're fine.

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  3. If it hasn't been more that two days since I last showered, I consider it a win for the day.

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  4. I will take one for my own personal wardrobe.

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  5. I just barely got to the eyebrow grooming and I stink from lack of showering and the smell of loneliness and desperation, so you are doing way better than I am!

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