Friday, November 16, 2012

TOTAL LOSER

Am I the only one behind in pretty much everything? Laundry, embroidery, dishes, de-cluttering, eyebrow grooming, so many many things? Lately, I have been prefacing every almost-commitment with, 'When I get my shit together . . .' And no, I do not consider the sh-word a swear. Shit is a fact of life. You take the good. You take the bad. You take them both and there you have the facts of shit. (Sorry, Mrs. Garrett!) 

Will there ever be a day when I remember where I parked my car in the parking lot? Or when I will be able to open up one of those accursed plastic produce bags at the grocery store without going into carpal tunnel shock? Will I just once -- just once -- choose the fast line and not the slooooowest line at the grocery store? You know the line. The one where everybody is standing over a vent blowing carbon monoxide, slowly swaying to Muzak, right before the poor cashier is attacked by a woman who wants everything she bought double-checked because she was absolutely positive that the sign said, 'For you, madame, the price will be negative dollars!'

To cheer myself up, I made this:




At losing I am a TOTAL WINNER. 





7 comments:

  1. Ugh same here, I'm so busy lately I don't know if I found a rope or lost my horse

    ReplyDelete
  2. Crap. I'm supposed to groom my eyebrows?

    I was be talked at by a lady on the playground today. She had a beard. You're fine.

    ReplyDelete
  3. If it hasn't been more that two days since I last showered, I consider it a win for the day.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I will take one for my own personal wardrobe.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I just barely got to the eyebrow grooming and I stink from lack of showering and the smell of loneliness and desperation, so you are doing way better than I am!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Easily Boost Your ClickBank Banner Traffic And Commissions

    Bannerizer made it easy for you to promote ClickBank products by banners, simply go to Bannerizer, and grab the banner codes for your picked ClickBank products or use the Universal ClickBank Banner Rotator Tool to promote all of the available ClickBank products.

    ReplyDelete