Monday, December 3, 2012
I am deeply concerned about your health.
You know how I am able to see the search phrases that people have googled that have brought them to my site, right? Most people find my site by innocent searches such as 'The Cotton Floozy' and 'crochet bikini,' but occasionally there are a few that truly alarm me. For instance, I recently had someone google 'Why does my poop have cotton?' And thanks to Google, they ended up at my site. Dear Person Who Googled This, please seek medical help immediately! I don't think that pooping cotton is normal!
And in case now you are completely freaked out by this knowledge that I can cast my all-seeing Blogger-eye and know where you are from, how long you stay on my site, and what search phrase brought you here, FEAR NOT. I am much too lazy to go to deeply into the bowels (is pun, yeah?) of my analytics data. Plus, it really does feel invasive, and I respect your privacy to browse my site howsoever you desire.
And dude or dudette with the mysterious pooping condition, GO TO THE HOSPITAL.