|May Kurt Cobain bless thee and keep thee.|
I was on the radio.
I come in just a few minutes after the commercial break. It was . . . fun? I tried to minimize my dorkiness as much as possible. I'm not sure if Bill tried to minimize his curmudgeonly mountain hobo as much as possible. A lot of listeners and friends were concerned, that, to quote a few texters, 'Bill was being a dick.' Now, when I was doing the interview, I didn't feel that way. And after listening to the interview again, I still don't feel that way. Was he kind of rude? Sure. But, that is sort of the schtick. The show is called Radio From Hell, not Delilah Loves You, Fuzzy Wuzzy. My handiwork is not perfect. Purposefully so. That's my schtick. I stitch not so that I end up with great works of art. You can tell by the photo of the X96 sampler that the lines are kind of wobbly, that the stitches aren't perfectly even, and that Bill's face looks way too beatific for the curmudgeonly mountain hobo that he is.
Honestly, I stitch because it is an extension of the writer in me. To write words on fabric. To make jokes. To steal other people's jokes. To cheer people up. And when my 'work' is insulted, I think that's effing hilarious. Some of the things I make are certifiably fugly. But hopefully appreciated.
Even though I solemnly swear on a stack of pancakes that my feelings weren't hurt, I did get a glimpse into some of the stress that a few of my friends have been going through for their decision to wear pants to church. Pants. To wear. On leg parts. Church.
Here is a very good article about it from NPR. If you google it you will find dozens of very good articles and thousands of crazy comments from the local Utah online news mags.
Now, I know that there were a lot of wonderful, smart mormons who didn't agree with the whole ladies wearing pants to church idea. I know that there were a lot of wonderful, smart mormons who did agree with the rights of women to respectfully and peacefully wear pants to church. But these were not the people that commented on the internet. It is a well known fact that crazy people have three extra digits per hand and can type 2000 words per minute. And some of my friends took a beating.
Not cool, guys. Not cool.
So I made my friend Stephanie* -- the lady who started The Pants Movement -- this pillow, so that she can rest her weary head and drool all over it when people are jerks to her.
They wore pants.
So, back to the Radio From Hell show . . . . They invited me to come to their studio and 'finish' the embroidery. SO FINISH IT I SHALL. I am planning on going up there, taking my damn needle and thread and making them all look like geishas.
And it's not going to stop there. No. I am going to regularly visit the studio, take that embroidery off their wall (or out from under Bill's coffee mug) and re-stitch it. Make it change with the seasons. Add costumes. You know, like those lawn goose statues that have all of the cute outfits.
I AM OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS. What would you like Kerry, Bill, Gina, and Dead Kurt to wear? I already have 'bozo makeup' in the line-up submitted by a friend. I'm also thinking that Snuggies would be super rad. What do you think?
Tell me what you want me to stitch or appliqué over this embroidery. Here, I'll post it again so you don't have to scroll.
I'm actually glad that Bill called this embroidery 'unfinished,' because think of the multitude of ways I can finish it! The possibilities are endless. Maniacal laugh.
Give me your ideas, and until then, don't be a jerk. You stay classy, San Diego.
*Okay, Stephanie is more like a friend of a friend. But we communicate via the interwebs and are planning on consummating our friendship in front of the painted black, looks-like-something-else-when-upside-down ice-cream cone at Jimmy John's.