Monday, October 14, 2013

DUMBER THAN A CROWBAR

When I was in high school I had a history teacher who had a few phrases that he used over and over and over again. Such as, "he didn't know his left foot from a pump handle!" and, she was "dumber than a crowbar!" Last week, I did something that made me dumber than a crowbar. Everybody makes extraordinarily stupid mistakes sometimes. In fact, this same history teacher once filmed himself for a school board review with his zipper down the entire class time. We all do stupid things. But what makes mine especially epic was that I MISSPELLED THE NAME OF MY OWN STORE.


Oh hai, my name iz the cotten floozy
I have spelled my name countless times. I type it several times a day. But somehow my brain got tripped up while I hand-chalked it on this lovely sign. Ever since I conked my head last year, I have these dementia moments that are so spaztically stupid. Once my friend mentioned in a conversation that she was going to go and visit "Melissa and John." I replied, "who are they?" She looked at me worriedly, "Your brother and his wife." DOH. Because I am used to saying "John and Melissa" instead of "Melissa and John," my brain couldn't recognize the pattern.

I am worried that I am going crazy.

I might definitely be going crazy.

So when you see the photo of me and my booth in The City Weekly, please go easy on me.

Luckily, I wasn't wearing pants so there is no chance of my zipper being down in the photo. Not that I wasn't *not* wearing pants. I was wearing a dress. Oh crikey. Speaking of zippers down, watch this little video my daughter made on her nintendo ds.

AN ODE TO SAUSAGES


I think my daughter is straight.

4 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. There is also a bacon one, but it doesn't have any inappropriate hardy har hars.

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  2. I am not sure if that is completely adorable or frighteningly disturbing. Maybe a little of both.

    And for some reason I have a sudden craving for meat. Hmmm.

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  3. You know how people type LOL but nobody ever really means it? Well, I actually laughed out loud at that video. Best part of my day so far.

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