Friday, April 25, 2014

Gay Man or Mother Who Has An Inappropriate Relationship With Her Son? The Party Game!

Yesterday my friend pointed out this insanely helpful article from a 1970's Cosmo mag. 

things to do with your hands that men like

Click on the image if you can't read it because you are old and/or a raccoon.
I don't think that this was written by an ordinary heterosexual cosmopolitan woman. No. And to demonstrate, I have made a little game that would be great for parties. You simply read off each sentence of the article and ask, "Gay Man or Mother Who has an Inappropriate Relationship with Her Son?"

Here are a few examples with my answer in italics.

"Pat his stomach and ask if there's any movement."
Answer: Mother Who has an Inappropriate Relationship with Her Son

"Smash his goblet in the fireplace." 
Answer: Gay Man

"Hand his orange juice to him while he's toweling after the shower."
Answer: Inappropriate Mother

"Frolic in his chest hair."
Answer: Gay Man

"Rub baby oil into his entire body after a shower."
Answer: Inappropriate Mother

"Tie him up and tickle him."
Answer: Inappropriate Mother

"Make a sandwich out of him and two pillows. Your feast."
Answer: Gay Man

"Shake hands with his ex-wife."
Answer: Gay Man

"Bring his daily vitamin to him with water in a crystal glass."
Answer: Inappropriate Mother

"Immerse him in a warm tub in the middle of Sunday afternoon and play geisha."
Answer: Gay Man

"Dangle grapes over his mouth. Feed him one at a time."
Answer: Inappropriate Mother

Print out a copy of this photo and use it as a conversation starter. Tell me your favorite and if you think it was written by a Gay Man or a Mother Who has an Inappropriate Relationship with Her Son? OR BOTH.

6 comments:

  1. that is so very, very creepy that I'm not going to click on the image. I don't want to read any more of those really awful suggestions.

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  2. The "count his ribs" one was weird. Were men more emaciated in the 1970s? As for "do needlepoint while he watches", is this some kind of arts & crafts fetish that I'm not aware of?

    No offense to hirsute men, but that drawing under "frolic in his chest hairs" was gross.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ha! Love this one: "Shake hands with his ex-wife."
    Answer: Gay Man

    ReplyDelete