Monday, October 20, 2014

Your Basic No-Frills Sales Agreement

To all the people who are here because of HuffPo or The Independent, WELCOME TO THE CRAZY. Sit down and stay awhile. I will stitch while you tell me all about yourself.

McDeath



THE COTTON FLOOZY'S SALES AGREEMENT

As an artist who makes everything by hand in dim lighting without the aid of sweatshop workers or elves, I retain the rights to the patterns I create for custom orders. I reserve the right to reuse my patterns and to post photographs of my finished (hand-stitched-in-dim-lighting) embroideries. Like other fan artists, I allege that my embroidery work is transformative and permissible under the fair use principles of U.S. copyright laws. I do not sell enough embroidery commissions to warrant any freaking out from the owners of any copyrighted materials, whereas I only make enough money to buy an occasional McDonald's Breakfast Combo #9 with a super-sized Diet Coke to-go.  If you have a beef with anything I have made or do not feel properly attributed, please email me directly at thecottonfloozy@gmail.com and I will consult that cold dark stone that is my heart after I make a phone call to my kickass big sister lawyer.

If you would like to buy an embroidery pattern that I create, for exclusive rights, to be used only by you or your very own equestrian dressage society, then you must agree to pay the full price of $250. Which would make me very happy indeed, because then I would be able to afford the medication I will need to unclot the McDonald's Breakfast Combo #9 from my cold dark heart.

I will assume that you agree to my terms unless you write me an email in caps-locked comic sans font stating that you do not agree to my terms. In which case, I will politely decline doing business with you.

If you are the awesome person whom I believe you to be, and have made it through this delightful sales agreement without falling asleep, thank you for commissioning a custom order from me. Let's be friends. Want to meet for McBrunch?

Ridiculously yours,
The Cotton Floozy

1 comment:

  1. Kudos for all the attention you're receiving from the Huffington Post! May your fun textile work continue.

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